Guess Cause I'm Sick

It's a feeling like things didn't turn out the way I wanted it to...or maybe it's cause I didn't want it to end...if I typed out what I truly felt then...I would be revealing too much...when the fact is every girl needs to have her own secrets...I hate how I feel right now...I'm tired my bags not pack yet cause my mom took the bag I was meant to use with her back home and she's not home yet...the bus is delayed...Can't help feeling right now like I'm overreacting it's just NS...I know I'll hate it at 1st..but I'll get over it I suppose as time passes...but I think that's not really the main reason why I feel so down right now...I need to say it out...but I don't think I can here...no, I can't...guess to some it's pretty obvious...but to others it's not...I'm tired...very tired...my throat is killing me and it's turning into cough...and I just feel down yet confuse...but I can still find the strength to smile about somethings...but not much...just somethings...

Thanks for the day out...Christine, Amanda, Gideon and Wing Tsun ♥ you guys.

- I TOTALLY HEART CARL'S JR. BURGERS AND FRIES!!!!!!-

-Gone tomorrow...last blog post for now.

You Don't Want To Be In My Head Right Now...

Feels as if my brain is about to freaking explode...I don't have enough of sleep...just spend RM120 on things that I absolutely need for NS...but trust me...I need more than that to look OK...not like a fabulous drop dead gorgeous bitch with fair skin and smooth pinky cheeks...or soft straight fucking hair...I'm cranky! I'm falling sick! And my AUNTY visit me for crying out loud! And Ginger's whining in her HIGH pitch tone and it's making my migraine bloody worst! And I can finally take my shower! Ate some fattening food today and I don't care if I can't fit into a size 30 jeans when I need a 36! Yes! I have fat thighs and I don't even know why I'm blogging about this! I guess I'm just drained...life hasn't been easy! And hey! I may be a moody bitch! And act like I'm fine with the world hating me but I'm still HUMAN! I don't think I get jealous of people often or envy even if I do...I don't hold it for long...Trust me there's a lot of things going in my head...and this isn't even half of it...and I don't even care if people read it or not...I'm just letting it out because there absolutely isn't a point keeping them all in right now...

-watched 27 Dresses today with Ryan and sis...LOVED IT.-

Friend Or Work

Which would you choose? Sending a friend off somewhere even if it means not seeing your friend for a few months? After all everyones busy and that friend just wants to sit down and talk before she leaves to a camp where she knows no one...or work...try reasoning with your manager? But money is always important so which will you choose?

Friend Or Work?

CHOOSE!

What McD does to me >,<

Watching Kaze no Stigma as I enjoy McD~

-I WANT VANILLA COKE-!!!!!!

I'm leaving to NS on monday

Well guess I have to repeat the same story of the story again ROAR

OK got a call from NS the operator at 5.22pm! Those smart government people calling at this hour when they are packing up to head home so I wouldn't have time to call them back and fire at them..they ask me to show up at camp TODAY! Wow sweet move..I mean seriously! You call me today to tell me that? That's so nice of them! Twice they told me that they'll send me a letter so that I am inform on when I'm going and so I'll have time to prepare! Then they ended up calling and at this bloody hour! WHAT THE HAM!!! Dad called and told them off today...operator keeps saying that's how we do things...wow...nice info...SERIOUSLY! Then my dad tells them that we can't make it today or tomorrow...HELLO! LIKE DUH! And the stupid malay &*^*%^@$^@#%!^#@# keeps saying it's the law it's the law! Well the law should be double checked! And she be thought out properly! IDIOTS! So dad told her off say he din wanna talk to her anymore and asked for the number of one of the camp site office...called the ass says I'm expected there on SATURDAY! Dad say nope...can't make it..his working his busy...so monday it is...

-WHO NEEDS DIET COKE WHEN THERE'S VANILLA COKE!-

p/s no seriously...I want vanilla coke...buy me bottles cans whatever just give me vanilla coke! but not too much till my kidney fails me now we don't want that right?

Nothing much to say

How I look today...

Why I didn't blog yesterday was because it was an annoying day and so was today...and what's worst...is I'm leaking...go figure. And 2 malay man climbed into my neighbors old house...yes Uncle Kwan's house...Kwan Ji-Ling's old house...and so happens the other day 2 malay man climbed into my opposite neighbors house at 4pm

-SAVE THE WHALES KILL THE POACHERS-

Beautiful Lie by 30seconds to mars

If you actually listen to the song closely and read the lyrics as well...you'll know that we all go through the same things sometimes so don't try to deny it. So here's the lyrics for those that were too lazy to see the auto scroll lyrics box.

Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me...

Everyone's looking at me
I'm running around in circles, baby
A quiet desperation's building high
I've got to remember this is just a game

So beautiful, beautiful...
(A beautiful lie)
It's So beautiful, beautiful...

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

Well...

Sunday...someone looked awesome with his longish hair...was annoyed when I went church...make up was a mess and so was my hair...tired..migraine...had McD for dinner...got scolding by mom coz of that...it's ridiculous! Sis back from Sabah..missing The Fountain! ARGH! Hugh Jackman forgive me T-T coz parents r watching football...went for two weddings in maple...died a pathetic death lolx...might Cabal tonight...well late...tomorrow 100% confirm cabal-ing...and going to call the asia soft guy to claim my prize...youth today I gave the honest truth about me...which i guess isn't what "holy" Christians would be proud of me for...why? Because I said I still struggle..and I mean really struggling...and my relationship with God is pretty much connected by a very thin rope but I'm trying to work on it...Well I'm sorry if I didn't have an absolutely DRAMATIC change when I officially gave my heart whole heartedly to God...it's not easy OK? At least I have the guts to admit it...

p/s ate brinjal for the 1st time in my life...upper lip swallow now due to allergic reaction..what a great way to discover a new food wouldn't you agree?

Just Realize

That I am falling sick! Yup...my nose is block but not running and having a pretty bad migraine now..I think maybe it's cause I got rain for the pass few days? I had to take my puppy for walk while it was still raining a lil..or it could be cause I haven't had much sleep..mapled today haha not a surprise...went GPQ...I actually didn't get any reward but I saw no one loot a scroll so what the heck grab it and it was earring for intelligence hmm...and I didn't die! despite my lag! And APQ was pretty stupid I was lagging much more then because I hadn't restarted my modem and I picked up a basket...which was good as well...They killed the boss REALLY fast...but the way they did things during the other mind challenging parts was ridiculous! There was little team work and I just tagged a long blur-ly...pretty much wasn't anything that I could do...And well need to go early to church tomorrow parents keep asking me to stop attending youth..thought of it...and ya I go there for God...but if I don't go youth I can't see much of my girlfriends and guy pals...miss hanging out with Amerie like we used to =(

p/s drew some crazy pattern at my tail with eyeliner...I so HEART eyeliner!

My Lil Day Out With Ino-chan

Went out with Christine to Time Square where there were a few PC Games events including ACGC, Call Of Duty, Lineage, Cabal and many more including Dota and there was also a cosplay event which was really fun Christine took some shots of a few of them dressed up for cosplay and some for the game evens...and she FINALLY after a long persuasion from me she took a pic with a hot dude dressed in a Force Bladder outfit for Cabal's event...and I won some bike in the game from a lucky draw which was fun lolx...not going to go in detail coz i'm really sleepy right now...to sum it up had a really great time with Christine~ and she said my pic will appear in PC gamers mag since I won the grand prize? Well...we'll just have to wait and see if that's true...i'm sure it's a bad pic of me.

So sleepy how I look right now:

<3 ya

The Joy Of People COMPARING Me! In Facebook

What-the-hell? To the below

Here is what your friends think about...

... your strengths:

person with the best profile picture
person with the best sense of humor
most generous

... your weaknesses:

best scientist
person with the best smile

WHo the hell even got that idea to judge/compare me with such a thing? So what now? Your looking down at me because I didn't go into science class is that it? Ya, you can tell me not to take it too seriously but how can I not? Maybe you can but that doesn't mean I can...So whatever...I'm so going to kick some ass if I find out whose that smart ass that judge me.

Person with the best smile...FYI if I start smiling like I love running in the fields of daisies and green grass and singing with the wild animals and sharing my nuts with the squirrels then you got the wrong person...cause if I start smiling like those people that have something to hide with their ALMOST perfect plastered on smiles then I'm not Jennifer anymore.

Don't Know What To Feel

Just one of those nights where I'm left alone...alone to absorb everything thats happen to me and is happening and what will happen...it's not like I can see the future...some how I never really thought of wanting to see the future...just only that I wasn't born...yah I know this post is emo...but so what? I have emotions and that's how I feel...you may not think about the things that I'm thinking about now but that doesn't mean I can be like you.

The world is full of sadness and that's a fact, even those that love their life hate it at times. Sometimes I find that people that smile all the time are either dumb and they just don't get things that's why they smile or they just plain have something to hide...but who doesn't?

Then there's the whole not in a relationship that's getting to me...what's up with that! I'm suppose to be taking a break from it!

One Of Those Days...Just Caught With The Sudden Rush Of Emotions...

One of the greatest things about being a human is that we have emotions and we are free to think and observe...but yet sometimes I hate what I feel...I hate what I observe...I don't envy my sister cause she has Ryan...I see their ups and downs and I feel that their for real...they love and also can't stand each other but their together because they want to be together, their together because they feel right for each other and I'm happy for them...but never envied what they have.

I'm single that's for sure, I have dated a few guys before but was never ready for commitment but when I see my friends around me having a boyfriend how happy they are...a part of me wants that too..but I know I'm not ready...even though a lot of people feel the way I do at times but I can't help the feeling of loneliness...Truth is when your alone and there's nothing to occupy your mind you end up thinking thoughts that are so depressing...but for now I just feel...I want a guy that I can't stand at times but love him because his everything that I'm not which makes us perfect for each other...but I'm not ready for that yet...So I'll wait till God leads me to my other half...the one that will make me whole even though we're two separate beings that have little in common but I just perfect for each other.

"In his eyes I see a side of me that I'll never see in my own;
In his eyes I see the love we have for each other;
So strong, so strong;
In his eyes I know he loves me as much as I love him;
In his eyes I know that we're right for each other;
In his eyes I know we were meant to be." -by JenN

About Maple? AGAIN?!

Ya! You got that right! Anyway before that...just got home from pasar malam with Ryan and sis had laksa..umm...yummy...well more like OK yummy..not fantastic yummy! And hmm...sis is leaving to Sabah tomorrow ain't going to see her till Sunday...and she asked me to re download Maple Story...and I haven't swear as much as I have today in Maple for quite some time now...Gamers can be such ass holes! But in a way people actually show their true color in games...and right now i am VERY tired...so that's all for today

Strickly Unimportand Post

Hmm...o hail yuan my friend who I met in maple for helping me get my Zakum Helmet in Maple Story! He rocks! He managed to help me get after the 1st try woohoo! Got to hang out with my favourite girl in the world! <3 Christine...and well...back home...and I have pretty sad news...because my puppy is SPOILED! Now she whines and barks non-stop just to get attention which is pretty hard to bare with...


picture of my chr with the helmet.

Seriously...if I ain't talking shut up and let me cool off...

Survey I Stole Frm Angeline's blog

1. Does it matter to you if your bf/gf smoke?
- Yes

2. How about drinking?
- If it's an addiction...yes, if it's just once in awhile no.

3. Do you want someone you cant have?
- Who doesn't?

4. If someone liked you right now,would u want them to tell u?
- Depends on who it is...and what's my relationship with that person.

5. Whats your favorite sport?
- Hmm...

6. Its saturday night, you're homealone.. what do you do?
- Play with my puppy, blast music/ TV, draw, online gaming...read a novel..

8. Can you do the splits?
- Not since my bones weren't flexible no more.

9. Do you like roller coasters?
- Never took a ride on one.

10. Whens the perfect time to have a boyfriend/girl?
- When I'm ready.

11. If you could date any celebrity,who would it be?
- Hmm...Chester Bennington? Johnny Depp? Orlando Bloom? Hayden Christenson...Jared Leto? Bill Kaulitz! Milo Ventimiglia!

12. Whats your favorite band?
- Linkin Park...

13. What are you doing this weekend?
- Moan that I'm leaving to NS soon...

14. Whats your favorite restaurant?
- Hmm...The Ship?

15. Do you usually fall for the right or wrong girl/boy?
- If I've fallen for the right one would I still be single? HELLO!

16. Have you ever hugged someone?
- If you haven't..that's just sad.

17. Ever kissed someone you werentattracted to?
- No

18. Do you like anyone right now?
- That's a secret.

21. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
- Body...

23. Which do you prefer, beach or the mountains?
- Beach...I'm scared of heights.

24. What kind of phone do you have?
- A phone _-llll

26. Computer or laptop?
- Your welcome to buy me a MAC laptop.

27. What is your favorite store?
- MNG...the clothes makes me feel sexy and comfortable.

28. Jeans or sweats?
- Jeans.

29. Which year has been the best so far?
- Still waiting for that year.

30. How old are you gonna be on your next birthday?
- 19

31. What should you be doing right now?
- Random things.

32. What is your favorite tv show?
- Heroes...who doesn't love Heroes? Milo Ventimiglia *drools*

33. Color?
- Black.

34. Are you attracted to gals/guys smoke?
- Hell no. Not even my friends can smoke...

35. Would you want a chilled laid back gf/bf or a party animal?
- In between...if your too laid back...you'll just end up having a beer gut and watching TV all day with potato chip crumps' all over you...party animal...I bet you'd have tried lots of drugs before..and gotten laid...

36. Have you ever fallen on your butt in front of a crowd of people?
- Yes.

37. Explain your dream car:
- As long as it doesn't break down or engine dies at every 10miles the car's just right for me.

38. What do you do when you're at home?
- Like every other normal human does, that ain't got a maid or servant.

39. Whats your favorite subject?
- English...BOYS...COFFEE!

40. Where do you want to go to college?
- Who says everyone has to study in college to get a diploma or degree on something?

41. Do you like to go to concerts?
- Yup...just hate the crowds that think smoking is OK when your squash in between more than a hundred people.

42. Favorite type of music?
- Pop rock...pop alone..you can "POP" out of my music list.

43. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
- Every side...why have a side when you can have all sides.

44. Scariest thing you've ever done?
- Cutting myself.

45. Whats the best feature about you would say?
- My lips...why? because people go under the knife for these puffy lips!

46. What annoys you?
- Everything that annoys any human..

47. If you had one super power, whatwould it be?
- What! Only one? To fly. I want FREEDOM!

48. Ever gone to saturday school?
- Who hasn't!

49. Been kicked out of class?
- Yup...after I walked out of one class...I just get kicked from the rest till I reported the teacher.

50. If you could say anything to anyone?
- "I just want you to accept me for who I am so that I can accept myself! And because you can't I end up fucking my life up cause everything I do can never satisfy you!"

51. What are some of your favorite quotes?
- "I'll be myself only if you promise to be yourself." ....(sometimes I don't even use words..I just use action.)

52. Are you jealous person?
- Everyone is a friend of jealousy it just depends on when you turn to that friend.

53. Are you friends with people that you shouldnt be friends with?
- Yup.

54. What are two of your fears?
- If I told you I would have to kill you.

This is how Christine&Jenn celebrate their SPM results

From right..yummy VENTI Java Chip (that;s mine...yummy~) and one GRANDE Chocolate Cream (Christine's...chocolaty~)

Results??

I wasn't feeling nervous, anxious, scared or whatever about the results... then when I got there I panicked when the teacher took so long to give me my results...then when I saw it, I was happy...satisfied...For you guys it's bad for me I'm just glad with what I have...then went out with Christine, had fun...got home...ya...not happy anymore.

Love this picture from deviantART by Liek

A Few Screen Shots From My Wedding

We actually had to go through the ceremony twice because my MapleStory hubby to be disconnected as you can see in one of the screen shot's some one use a skill that had meteor rocks showering down...that caused him to disconnect cause it was raining and he was already lagging...and because only at the 2nd time we were successfully married, Christine managed to make it...

Kindly click on picture to see it in full size ty.

A Ridiculous Idea

Well I was in the shower and my head wondered off some where again...and I just read finish Meg Cabot's Queen of Babble2 the day before yesterday and how the main character's hot boy friend, who seemed almost perfect just wasn't able to commit to marriage. And that gave me an idea for some lame story...about a girl who has a dream to become a model and is almost there, when things that seemed to be going so well suddenly just fell apart and how she falls for a House mate that just isn't ready to commit to a relationship even though he really likes her. Well that's all I got for now...

Maple Story Wedding Tonight.

The "L" Word

Love;
Lust...
Their both the start with "L" and their both a four letter word, this special feeling that we feel that we often say is Love can be very easily mistaken for Lust.. Can we really tell apart whether at times the feeling that we really feel towards a person is truly Love or Lust?

Listening to Paramore -Whoa
Getting married tomorrow in Maple Story... Note: I'm not that broke in maple...

I'm A Pretender

Note: Originally posted on deviantArt by me..and there seem to be a few people that really like it. It's all simple words that may seem too simple to some; but it gets straight to the point on how I feel.

I smile because I have to;
Because I know if I don't people would ask why;
And if I told you why, you might judge me or try to help;
But right now I want neither of that.
I stay away from people who aren't like me because I know I'll be judge;
And I hate it;
And I'm afraid to be cornered and brought down;
So I stay away and put up my defenses.
You ask me if I'm OK, and I tell you that I am;
Even when I'm not;
Because that's what pretenders do, and I'm one of them;
I act strong and fearless;
But I'm weak and pathetic;
I give advice when asked to;
But in truth I say it because most of the time I have to;
I get scared and I pretend that I'm not;
Because I don't want to be look down on;
Because I want to take care of myself.
Tonight;
I'm a pretender;
Strip this mask away from me and my amour, my disguise;
And you will see that's I'm truly pathetic and weak.

Smart Ass

Today someone crossed my limit...but surprisingly I didn't fire at that person. I'm know to have a bad temper and very little patience. I truly respected that person, even though we met in the game and I have done some pretty dumb things...but this person has done things that have made me really mad...but I always hold it all in...well my sis said that I should have snap at this person...she even volunteered to do it, but kept saying no...even Ino-chan wanted to blast at this person...I still said no..his lucky.

Reading - Meg Cabot - Queen Of Babble 2

Updates!!

Well pretty much useless updates anyhow...pretty much been gaming...been leveling in 2days...which is considered OK...hmm...being attacked by mosquitoes right now...

Alright well I'm a Maple Story gamer the game is OK..it's in 2D...the characters are cute and all...and I've made a couple of friends there...majority from singapore...not all of them are kia su...well not my friends...and recently met a few from malaysia...And I was actually joking around about wanting to get a maple hubby...Well I guess for those that don't play maple and actually read my blog..which I quite doubt that anyone does even read my blog...here it goes;

You can actually get married in Maple...At first when they had the wedding thing it was just like getting married you have some wedding effects when your near each other but that's pretty much all...and here's the thing...your using REAL money to get married hahax...well previously I was married, to a pretty sweet guy...we went through a lot of ups and downs and things got pretty complicated...and now he kind of disappear...it happens a lot to me..makes me feel pretty annoyed and pathetic at times...but anyway! I'm getting out of topic haha...So well after they changed the wedding system into a much better one all couples that were once married were all auto divorced...kind of suck actually haha...Well now they have a town where all wedding ceremonies are held AND they have PQ = party quest for married couples...you score more points if your party consist of all couples...

Ok, about the whole party thing...every game player can create a party which maximum is 6 people including yourself...so to go for a party quest your party has to consist of that amount of people..and I was joking around about wanting to go for it and all and last thursday while training I met a hermit in my party, and he ask me to be his dear...instead of accepting him straight away I called a few of my friends available in my buddy list to interview him...in the end I accepted him, cause he seemed pretty decent...even saw his picture lolx...anyway the wedding will be healed this friday guess I'm going to put the screen shots in my blog.

Listening to Paramore - Emergency

World Premier Of Linkin Park Video - Given Up

I'm an idiot...no doubt about it.

All I want is peace and happiness that taste so sweet just like dark chocolate; and a kiss that would change my life forever.

Linkin Park Video Given Up Coming Out On 3rd MARCH!!!!

So excited...well why wouldn't I be? I am a HUGE fan of Linkin Park! So to know that their vid is coming up makes me feel like jumping around the house right now!

Darn It Maple Bug!

The other day maple had a patch and after the patch that's where all the probs start coming...the pets in maple which are bought with real money and so are their equipments which enables them to pick up mesos(game money) and items which includes equipments drop by monsters provided that you killed the monster and they are indeed your drops...BUT after the patch few are having the same problem which is their pets are unable to pick up mesos, items or eqp...at first I didn't have that problem until today, my pet can only pick things randomly...sometimes it won't pick at all! Sometimes it just picks one or two things instead of in a bunch! Which is very frustrating! And I wanted to complain about it in the official website but there's a problem with that page! I hope they fix the problem soon! They better fix the problem soon! Going back to sleep now.